celebrity231

So for a couple of days, there was a post up that featured porn and some really awesome commentary. It included a really filthy cum shot and everything, and I accidentally put it up on this blog. How does something like that happen, you say?

Well, in addition to writing for this blog, I write for an adult themed blog, TeenChaos.com. Anyway, the pages that I use to upload the blogs to their respective sites look very similar, and I thought I was posting my porn blog to TeenChaos , when in fact I was posting it to Celebrity231. Whoops, my bad.

Speaking of “my bad”, I’ve included my favorite thing Bill O’Reilly’s ever done in the video above. It’s the remix, and I’m bringing it to you as a way of saying “sorry for posting porn”.

On the other hand, if you liked what you saw, feel free to visit TeenChaos to get a whole lot more where that came from. It’s totally free porn, perfect if you’re broke (or cheap).

Today is Friday the 13th, and you can tell because some fucked up shit is going on. First, Des Moines, Iowa has been flooded all to hell. Even the baseball field is under water!

Then, the Taliban had some sort of prison break, releasing 1,2oo prisoners into Afghanistan (many of which are members of Al Quaeda). As if that weren’t enough, at 3 pm EST the jury in the R. Kelly trial came back with their verdict: NOT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS! I don’t know what the hell they were thinking (maybe they just really like Remix to Ignition?), but whatever.

Finally, in the most heartbreaking news I’ve seen in the last month or so, Tim Russert died! It seems like just yesterday (okay, it was in January) that I was having dinner with him in New Hampshire during the primary. He was a really nice dude, and will definitely be missed. RIP.

So last night there was a pretty big party to celebrate the relaunch of Pinkisthenewblog.com, which is really one of the worst websites I’ve ever had the displeasure of coming across. It’s wacky, tacky and gives me a headache. Ugh.

Anyway, a bunch of C-list hobags were there, including Samantha Ronson and several people I’ve never heard of. Of course, Heidi and Spencer showed up. As Mavrix Online first reported, the douchey duo got out of their car, posed on the red carpet, got back into their car and drove the hell away! They went just for the photo op and didn’t even go inside to the event!

Those two are so completely shameless, I don’t even know what to say about it!

Sweet baby Jesus and holy hell, I can’t believe I’m about to type this. Earlier in the week I told ya’ll about Clay Aiken having a kid with some old hag in the showtunes business. I know, I know, I’m still not over it either.

Which is why it practically gives me physical pain to inform you that he plans on having more children with this woman. (Please excuse me while I dry heave.) Word on the street is that the two of them have frozen their sperm and eggs (I do not want them, Sam I Am!) and plan to do the artificial insemination thing again a year or so after their first spawn is born.

Bleh.

Brooke Hogan’s mom is a straight-up hobag! I can’t believe this shit…and I’ve seen some craziness in my day.

Get this: Brooke Hogan’s mom (anyone know her name? Is it  Cindi? She looks like a Cindi…with an I, not a Y) is 48 friggin’ years old and is dating a 19 year old toolbag. Of course, that’s not the kicker. The kicker is, he used to be a classmate of Brooke and Nick! The awkwardness is so thick, I can practically cut it with a knife.

First, the Hulkster starts seeing some chick who is Brooke’s doppelganger, and now the mom is skanking it out with this douche. Wow. I’m out of words.

Both Tori Spelling and Jessica Alba had their babies today, and I’m willing to bet at least one of them is in rehab before 2020. Both of the kids are girls, with Tori naming hers Stella Doreen McDermott and Jessica naming hers Honor Marie. It’s been said that Jessica named her baby Honor because “it’s an honor to have Cash’s baby”. Please excuse me for a minute, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I named my first car Stella, so I’m giving the baby naming award of the day to the McDermotts. Anyone want to take the over/under on how long it takes Stella to make her reality TV debut? How about how long before Honor shows up on the cover of a magazine?

Dear Amy,

Personally, I don’t really care if you abuse crack, heroin, meth, pot, pills, barbituates, ecstasy, booze, mushrooms, uppers, downers, in-betweeners, whatever. I mean, I’m a Libertarian and I genuinely don’t give a shit. However, not many people are as open to your alternative lifestyle as I am. For instance, I’m pretty sure the police would frown upon your shenanigans.

Therefore, you might want to keep photos of you surrounded by drug paraphernalia out of the hands of the media. Good God, woman, is that a crack pipe sitting on your coffee table? And I’m almost afraid to ask what’s up with the aluminum foil.

In conclusion, keep your family photos in the family until you get yourself together, honey. Can’t wait for your new album to come out!

XOXO,

Karilee

Tatum O’Neal is one cheap beyotch. How else can I describe the situation she’s currently in? I mean, instead of going to her regular neighborhood cocaine dealer, she walked a few blocks down the street and hit up a shady ass back alley crack dealer. Yeah, that’s right, she tried to buy crack.

I mean, this is a chick who still holds the record for the youngest person ever to win an Academy Award. She lives on the Upper East Side. She used to be married to tennis legend John MacEnroe, and she even has his kids. Plus, she published a book a few years ago about how she’s all sober and shit.

Sober my ass!

Last night, she went out to get herself a rock of crack and got busted by the po-po. Her excuse was that she was trying to research a role for a new movie. My excuse? Crack is tasty (and I don’t care what Whitney Houston says!)

Hope you have your pukin’ bucket handy, cause what I’m about to lay on you is likely to make you dry heave a little!

Clay Aiken has reportedly impregnated a big shot producer named Jaymes. No, Jaymes is not a dude. Of course, the two of them didn’t actually go through all of the trouble of bumping uglies. Instead, they went the turkey baster route and Jaymes was artificially inseminated with Aiken’s sperm.

The thought of Clay Aiken, quite possibly the least sexy person on earth, having sperm really creeps me the hell out. They’re not in a relationship (of course not, Clay is gayer than a rainbow parade in San Francisco!), but Aiken does want to play an extensive role in the kid’s life. Ugh. Can you imaging the Aiken and Wentz babies playing together?

File this in the “No Duh!” department: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are officially having a baby. The duo announced that they’re expecting a kid, saying that they were waiting until after the first trimester before telling their fans. It’s rumored that at their wedding a week or so ago they told everyone in attendance the news.

That poor kid is going to have problems. I mean, for one thing, its mother is a plastic shell of the cute girl that she used to be. I don’t care what everyone says, I liked her best pre-plastic surgery. Also,  its going to have to deal with a dad that wears more eyeliner than its mom. I keep saying “it” because I’m not sure a Simpson-Wentz child will actually turn out to be human.