celebrity231

Keanu Reeves is pretty old, pretty pasty and pretty effin’ hot. When I was a kid (by kid I mean not even in high school yet), my parents let me watch Speed, I was hooked on the dude. I’ve since watched literally every single movie he’s ever been in. Yes, I’m fully aware that makes me a stalker. No, I don’t really care. I’d chair the Keanu Reeves fan club if I could.

If Day-Glo made a skin color, they’d probably fashion it after Keanu’s pale ass body. In the pic above, he’s hanging out in the water at the French Riviera with some topless whore. I’d look so much better by his side, if only he’d give me a chance!

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