celebrity231

Simon Cowell and his girlfriend of 5 years, Terri Seymour, have broken up. But don’t go getting all weepy just yet: he left her the handsome parting gift of a $4.5 million house. Hot damn!

To be clear, the reports say that Cowell’s spokeswhore swears that Seymour bought the house herself, but may have had assistance from Simon. And by assistance, I’m sure she means that he bought the thing, while she did the hard work of having a spare set of keys made at Home Depot.

Does anyone want to tell me where I should go to get in line to be his next girlfriend?